Memorizing Math Facts...Why?

I never forced my children to memorize math facts...or cursive writing. (gasp!)Well, I attempted to force them to learn for a while, but came to realize that it was an unnecessary and foolish waste of time and energy, that my children had many more engaging and important things to do with their time than memorizing numbers that had no meaning to them.


My daughter is 19 and was "extremely relaxed homeschooled" until her senior year, graduated public high school with honors and STILL doesn't know her times tables and this does not affect her life negatively in any way. By the way, she has beautiful handwriting.


My 20 year old son, also "extremely relaxed homeschooled", didn't know his times tables until he went in the Navy. He wanted to take enrichment classes in his teen years and was told by his teacher that he was WAY behind on his math skills and must work very hard to catch up in order to get along well in our world. I blew him off and told my son to learn math if he wanted to, that those particular skills are not necessary for everyday life and he can learn them later if he feels he needs them. He never opened a math textbook again, although he did spend much time with his head in a computer and with computer literate people. He also spent a lot of time with scientific minded folks having deep discussions about things I have never even heard of.



He went into the Navy and during his "college" training he and another homeschooled kid tutored many of the other guys who didn't understand the "higher level math skills". (That's pretty good for a kid who was told just a couple years previous that he was very unskilled at math. I also think this may contradict the studies that state that homeschooled kids are behind their public school peers in math skills. Although this example is only two children, I have to wonder if public schooled kids may be better at taking the test showing math skills while the homeschooled kids are better able to apply math skills to everyday life? I suppose that is a topic for another day.) Currently he has a Naval career in electronics, computers and encryption, which regularly uses those skills and more.


After he had been out on his own for a while I asked him if he wished that I had handled his education differently and if he had any suggestions for his younger siblings. His only suggestion was that I had used the "real" terms in math, like "sum", "addend", "quotient" and such. I think those are really only necessary if you have a math based career though.



Also, my 13 yo knows some multiplication facts but was not forced to learn them. He learned them through normal every day experiences, like calculating a tip for the waitress or figuring tax on an item he wanted to purchase. My 10 yo loves doing all sorts of complex math in his head, skills he learned intuitively, completely on his own while "playing" outdoors. (in reality he was observing and interacting with nature and learning a lot about natural patterns in our world)



I love to brag about my children, but the reality is that I had nothing to do with it. I let them be, encouraged them when they wanted it, lived life with them and loved them. They are intelligent, considerate people. It has worked out well for us so far.

Homeschooling and Socialization

A homeschooling mom was feeling doubt about her decision to homeschool when her ex ridiculed her and claimed their child will become a weird social outcast and have no friends or social skills.
I have been successfully homeschooling for over a decade and still get asked often, "What about socialization?". This is a common concern from people who were raised in the traditional school system and have no awareness that it is abnormal for people to be segregated by age and robbed of their freedom in these institutions called schools. I could go on about the inhumanity of traditional schools but I will save that for another day.
Here is my response:

My daughter attended school for the first time in 11th grade. She
loved it but family issues did not allow her to finish out the year.
She decided she wanted to attend school for her senior year. We talked
a lot about it. She had done everything necessary to graduate from
home school and I hoped she would go to college or take a trip or do
something neat instead. She was very aware that I felt she was going
as a social experience rather than an educational and had my complete
support to quit or change the way she was doing it at any time.
She made lots of friends, attended sporting events and parties, dated
the town nerd and the town basketball star (not at the same time) (she
totally broke the rules. It was unheard of for a cheerleader to date a
"nerd". She is an individual and liked him. She felt the social
classes in the public school system was silliness. I think dating that
guy was an act of rebellion toward the kids at school cuz she prefers
the pretty boy type), made the cheerleading squad, made honor roll but
decided she would rather go to parties and other things than have the
responsibility involved with that, graduated with honors...in fact she
was one point away from graduating with high honors. She talked with
me about it. She had to decide to stay home and study for a test to
get that one point or go to a big party she had been wanting to go to
for a long time....she felt that regular honors was good enough and
went to the party. (she talks to me about decisions she has to make
and I share my opinion but she makes the right decision for HER, not
for ME, even if it is not what I would chose for her. When my children
make a decision they know that I will not give them a hard time and if
it doesn't work out I will never say "I told you so". They know they
can come to me when a decision doesn't work out the way they had
planned. I do not bail them out but offer a compassionate ear and
support them in pick up the pieces and moving on. Bottom line I love
them unconditionally and don't judge the path they chose in a negative
way. I am extremely proud of my children))

In our town a social misfit is not going to make the cheer squad in
public school... especially the first year attending. (in fact the
head girl asked her to try out, she might not have otherwise) A social
misfit will also not date the school champion(basketball star), or
have the guts to stand up to peer pressure about dating a "non
popular" guy, or be invited to many parties and have several offers
for dates for the prom and lots of offers for dates in general.

Her social success was an awesome testament to the naysayers who gave
us a hard time in the early years. Somehow succeeding in the public
school system is the measurement that most adults measure a young
person success.

My son attended the first half of 12th grade. He did not graduate from
public school because family medical issues forced him to move to
another state which did not recognize ANY of our homeschooling and
would have had him start classes at a 9th grade level. He instead
decided to take a GED and go straight to college. He had to get
special permission to take it in this state, and then jump through
even more hoops to not have to take months of prep courses first. The
school principal and superintendent ridiculed him and my sister (his
temporary guardian) and advised that students can't pass the GED with
out preparation and should plan on having to retake the test several
times. They swallowed their words when they got his tests back with
high scores. They even asked him to sign a waiver to use one of his
essays from the test for future preparation classes.
He is by nature an introvert (like his mother LOL) and did not enjoy
school as much as his sister. He felt is was ok, but that his home
education was much more challenging and way better. He has always had
several (more than several but less than many) close friends and very
healthy and inspiring relationships. He was leader of the youth praise
and worship team.

Both children were very active in church since elementary school. Even
then they both took initiative to participate in activities and were
often asked to take leadership roles in long and short term projects.
While elementary and middle school age both children were on the kids
praise and worship team, the puppet ministry, kids prayer ministry,
drama club, dance team (my daughter only). When they were highschool
age they were part of the leadership team in the youth group which had
a lot of responsibilities which they took quite seriously. Social
misfits cannot function and intermingle with kids and teenagers
especially in leadership positions. Kids and adult liked and admired
them.

They get along well with people of all ages and all educational and
social backgrounds. People continually comment on what great kids they
are....well they are adults now.

I shared all these stories to show that they have succeeded both
socially and academically and were homeschooled.

I would like to add that we were not a "do school at home" type of
family. We were "extremely relaxed homeschoolers". At that time I was
an unschooler at heart but had to keep the husband (now ex)happy with
proof of their education so we did the obligatory lessons...a couple
times a week. I worked around his demands by asking the kids to
"study" a topic of their choice and produce at least one project each
week (a science experiment, raise an animal, grow a plant, draw a
picture, sing a song, give a speech, put on a play, write a
paper...pretty much anything) I think my daughter studied rabbits for
at least 2 years and my son studies Ancient Egypt for equally as long.
My educational goal for my children was for them to know how to find
the information they need to do whatever they may want to, to be
independent learners and to have a "broad knowledge base". Since
everything is related to everything else my kids acquired a broad
knowledge base. It is amazing how many things they learned through
their studies that seem TOTALLY unrelated to the topic of study.
Currently I have two boys 10 and 12 learning at home. I accidentally
became and unschooler. My mother had alzheimers and my father got
terminal cancer as she was in the end stage of her life. I moved in to
care for them and the childrens "formal" education was completely set
aside. I did continue with our normal activities...like talking and
reading books and watching tv and PLAYING. When I finally pulled the
books out I discovered that the children were both academically where
they would have been if I had been "doing school" all along. This
confirmed my suspicion that my older children excelled academically IN
SPITE of my prodding to learn.
Since then I have let myself off the hook and we continue to live and
play (I have to be aware of what we do so I can keep their father
updated. It sucks a little bit of the joy out of it but is much better
than using textbooks all the time). Once in a while I get little pangs
of guilt (or is it fear?) because the boys father continues to insist
that they do plenty of text book learning and has requested a
quarterly reports and samplings of their work. so every once in a
while we pull out the books and do a little bit of "school" so he wont
take me to court.
We love to live and play and ...well just live. I have a dream to
someday to be a part of a school (even if I have to be one of the
founders) for kids who want to unschool and want a neat place to
socialize and share their lives (what better way to learn than to hang
out with people of all ages and backgrounds????)or maybe the parents
are insecure or work. I continue to work on this project in my spare
time. I suppose we will start out as a "support group" or a "club" or
just a place to hang out on a regular basis.

well my words of encouragement have become a book of our homeschooling
history. LOL I hope my childrens "normalcy" will help you have
confidence in what you are doing.
Oh, BTW, I have discovered that "feeling productive" is not a good way
to measure learning, it only succeeded in making me feel like a
failure. The best learning happens spontaneously...JMHO :)
-Kathryn