Jeff's *Update For Today"

*Update For Today*

I woke up. I am alive. I have clothes to wear. I have running water and food to eat. My house isn't fancy, but the mortgage has my name on it. I am safe. The heat is working.

I am surrounded by a beautiful, loving family and an amazing army of friends who have become family and we treat each other as such.

I have been blessed with another day to make the most of and be grateful for all these things - or to waste and whine and complain about the unrealistic expectations of perfection that absolutely NO ONE has.

It really is this simple for me today.

My pain level is manageable and I have the medications I need, along with a world-class team of doctors who do incredible, astounding things every day of their lives.

This morning, with Heavenly Father's blessing and their amazing skill, I awoke to live and enjoy another day on this beautiful, imperfect planet.

This is my day. I will do with it as I please. I have been given that agency to choose and I am just so glad to have SO MANY CHOICES.

Surviving the hell of the past month was not my choice, but it has right now - at this exact instant - given me the ability to so appreciate just how blessed and lucky I am this morning.

Only when you have been in the darkest valley can you appreciate the majesty of the highest mountain top.

I am not consumed or engulfed in the burning agony of pain today. I don't know why or how I survived the crazy events of the last 30 days but I do know how and who to thank and I will do so.

I will rise from those ashes and continue to fight with all and who I am for the rest of this day. And I will be grateful for the chance.

My friends, know that whatever your struggle today, I am there with you in my heart and spirit and I will never, EVER forget your kindness, understanding and compassion.

You are the fabric of healing that has wrapped around my aching, hurting body and nurses me back to health. Your tender mercy and attention has been the game changer in my struggles. Know this. Never forget what you have accomplished in our family's lives.

It's that big and that spectacular.

Now I will seize this day and do whatever it is I am supposed to do, and I will not complain or bitch or whine.

I am grateful and happy to be alive! Thank you, all of you, and may Heavenly Father bless your day with unexpected gifts of joy and goodness.

Savor every moment, all of it. You deserve these things. I love you all. ❤️ --Jeff

You Are Amazing! Jeff's Health Update

*Today*

Less pain this morning than yesterday - and that's the best start of a morning I've had in WEEKS. 😎

No, everything isn't "perfect" and so what? The trend line is moving up for at least this morning and I am grateful, happy and feeling pretty damned lucky.

Nothing to eat or drink after 8 am, and a Barium radioactive "smoothie" at 10, followed by a CT Scan at 11 am. All the fancy cover-up words they use are humorous and designed for everyone except the folks (me) who have to force it down. Same routine, same stuff. But "smoothie" does sound better than "radioactive sludge", I suppose. 😉

Results from the CT Scan, as usual, won't be available until next week sometime when I meet with my Oncologist to review and make plans.

After everything I've been through this past month, I'm not scared. It is what it is. If all goes "well", then no changes. If necessary, we'll look at other chemotherapy options and deal with that when it gets here.

So - overall, still in pain, but feeling improvement. I am just going to let this day come to me and enjoy and wring every little bit of enjoyment out of it I can find.

I want you to do the same and know that it if I can smile this morning, believe me, so can you!

Just for today, let something go that you have no control over that's been nagging and bothering you. Just appreciate whatever bits of goodness come your way and don't discount or miss out on them. They're precious and rare and gifts for YOU.

Have a great day, people, and THANK YOU for loving me through the worst and best of times. You are MAGNIFICENT and AMAZING and I love you all! ❤️

Jeff's *Health Update* stent removal

*HEALTH UPDATE*

Ladies and gentlemen, I am happy to announce that the procedure to remove the stent in my left kidney went well and the this month+long nightmare has ended!

I am a little sore here and there - to be expected - but the relief of pain was immediate as soon as that contraption was taken out. Once everything was set up for the procedure (don't ask), the Doc arrived, and it was over IN LESS THAN A MINUTE. I kid you not.

It appears that the distance from my kidney to my bladder wasn't given much thought as the size of the stent itself was, well, horrifying. And that "oversight" was the reason for all of the excruciating pain.

The dang thing was bouncing around inside my kidney on one end and inside my bladder on the other every time I moved, bent over, went to the bathroom, etc. Ouch!

Medical science has come a long way but this particular area of medicine seems to be stuck in the middle ages. Usually these things are in place for DAYS, not WEEKS, and I am so glad it's just over with. For whatever reasons, the pain in my situation was excruciating.

No further issues to worry about with kidney stones and after some healing time of a few days, I should be fine in that area again.

I am just thankful everything went smoothly and my anxiety level is manageable again.

It's over and done with. I will deal with whatever residual pain exists over the next few days but am looking forward to just being able to get back to kicking cancer's butt full-time without this distraction. Yayee! I survived.

Thank you, everyone, for all your prayers and wishes - you have no idea how much it means to have an entire ARMY of beautiful people like yourselves being so kind, gentle and loving as our family fights this thing tooth and nail.

And fight I will! Onward to healing, figuring it all out, trusting Heavenly Father and the most awesome doctors in the world... I am looking forward to being able to just cook meals again, spend quality time with family and friends, and make it through to the end of the month as usual. It's a struggle, yet somehow we always find a way!

Thank you, everyone, I am going to get some much needed rest and spend this day thanking God for the tender mercy he is blessing our family with today. I love you all! Thanks for being on this journey with me - I have the best team EVER! Never, ever give up! ❤️❤️❤️

*Brief Update*

I am keeping it simple today, friends - tomorrow morning this stent in my left kidney and the source of a lot of physical pain is scheduled to be removed. Finally.

No, I'm not looking forward to the procedure. No anesthesia, no nothing, just go in the most obvious way and yank it out. Apparently that's how it's done, so time to bite the bullet and just get this over with.

The doctor says the procedure is fast and will be over quickly. Let's hope so. The way it is placed has been surprisingly painful and that was unexpected. But the kidney stones originally causing a lot of problems have been vaporized and are gone. I'm thankful for that.

Now, just this procedure and I can get back to the full-time job of fighting my cancer and taking care of myself again. FINALLY.

I will post an update for you tomorrow assuming all goes well and I should be feeling better by tomorrow afternoon.

To all the many, beautiful people who have been following this journey with my family and I, we thank God for your efforts and wish the best for you! Your efforts to be so supportive and loving has made all the difference in the world!

We could never have made it this far without you... and we thank Heavenly Father every day for the many prayers and thoughts and well wishes that continue to rain down upon us. You are INCREDIBLE and we love you! ❤️

*Jeff's Brief Update*

Good morning, all, and God bless each and every one of you for showering me with so much love, grace and kindness these past several days.

I am feeling better - my digestive tract appears to be straightening itself out and while I still am in a lot of physical pain, that issue is hopefully behind me and I am not so overwhelmed.

Your responses to my brutally honest post about the challenges I am facing have filled me with hope and courage. I am not giving up, I am not quitting, I am never going to stop fighting.

The cancer in all the various places in my body is going to do its thing and there is absolutely nothing I can do about that, including the pain that comes with this territory.

But my Heavenly Father is also going to do His thing, and I will have faith and trust in Him. He knows exactly what he is doing. My task for this minute and the one that follows is to surrender what I can't possibly control to Him. 

This morning, another round of chemo and, hopefully, another day of healing and overcoming whatever comes my way. If I continue feeling better, I will post more later today after the chemo and some much needed rest and sleep.

I just can't express in words how much all of you have helped me and how grateful I am to have such beautiful, magnificent people in my life who truly, deeply and honestly love and care about me so much.

Heavenly Father has marshaled His forces and the angels have arrived to tend to my needs. You are all the proof and reason to know that when I surrender these things to Him, tender mercies will abound.

More later when I have finished this day's appointments - and THANK YOU for the precious sacrifices of your time and attention in the face of your own needs and challenges.

Until then, I will follow the inspirational example to be on "The Lord's Errand" and finding my way through these times. 

Whatever this day brings, I am grateful for the opportunity to be here, to be with you, and humbled by your heartfelt wishes, prayers and eternal optimism. You have restored my faith and trust and today, I will be grateful. I love you all. ❤️

 — feeling grateful